Risking a Smile
...and when you really, really should follow it up.
Dateline: 23:10, Tuesday, September 27th, 2005 - Platform 2, Camden Town tube station.
Why do I do this? I met a lovely young lady on Camden Town station, all because she dared to risk a smile back at a stranger who was himself smiling. Having passed her in the corridor I even made a point of returning to the same platform and seeking her out, because finding someone who isn't too shut in their own little box to respond is so unusual that it's worthy of comment. "Oh", she replies with the kind of genuine smile that starts with the eyes and tumbles down to the mouth. "I smile at everyone." I can well believe it.
She had lovely warm eyes, and a welcoming smile, and quite clearly wanted to talk more. In the space of three minutes we'd exchanged all the trivia that would take 10 times as long when normally meeting a stranger for the first time. I know she lives in Clapham. I know she works with HP Tandem kit. All except names, so I can't even try to begin to investigate. When her train arrived she reached out not to shake hands but to hold momentarily, and seemed reluctant to let go. There is no more obvious (or intimate) gesture of welcome. (Such a gentle touch, too.)
Then the train arrives and all I could say in response to her query whether I was catching the same one - because it was on the wrong branch to get me to Waterloo and I was pressed for time to catch my train home, though none of this did I have time to explain - was "No, I'm afraid not - we'll never meet again". (Sappy. Completely and utterly sappy...) Watching her board, sit down, and the train move off, carrying her home to Clapham, I instantly wished I'd been able to answer differently. I've never seen the film, but I guess it's my own personal "Sliding Doors" moment. Ships passing in the night, as it were.
I really can be my own worst enemy sometimes. Damn, I can be an idiot... She's never going to read this, of course, but if she did I'd like her to know I'm sorry. I'm going to remember this particular act of stupidity for a very long time.
